Masturbating, a (terrible, offensive, disgusting, etc.) poem.

I'm not going to lie, this one is pretty bad.
I should really look at myself in a mirror.

It's time, it's 10 O'clock,
And your waiting for your chance.
You pull out your cock.
And then pull off your pants.

I realize that's a strange order,
to do those things in.
But I've crossed that border,
And now it's time to begin.

But oh shit, what's that noise?
Foot steps towards your door.
Time to put away your toys...
Wait... what?

It's okay, I wont judge your material.
That you probably got from a box of cereal.
Though I'm going in the wrong direction.
We left off at foot steps killing an erection.

They came near, and passing never quicker.
Why can't your room be at the end of the hallway?
It's because of your stubborn sister.
Your parents love her more, so she gets her way.

You wait for a while til you think it's safe.
And for some reason you get butt naked.
You pull out some lotion, so you don't chafe.
And look online for something X rated.

You search japanese, and that's revealing.
It's strange you find tentacles appealing.
But like I said, I still won't judge.
Unless you like to watch dudes pack... boxes.

You stop your search, realizing that's fucked up.
Ignorance allows you to click 2 girls and 1 cup.
It seems at nice at first, 2 girls in the nude.
Accompanied by a charming piano tune.

But things take a sinister turn.
When you see the view of anus and glass.
Poo slides out and you start to squirm.
And now you feel like such an ass.

The sight is unbearable, you start to gag.
Who thought this was achievable?
Your boner begins to sag.
So gross, and unforeseeable.

You hurry and click another link.
You didn't look or decide to think.
But foot steps again draw near.
And what you clicked will make you look queer.

Someone begins to turn the knob.
While on your screen there's gay butt sex.
Now you look like gay Bob,
Though the situation is complex.

But there you are nude in a chair.
You find your uncle is the intruder.
But he doesn't seem to care.
Because he has been... lewder.


You wake up the following day.
Get up and get something to eat.
While everyone is bowing to pray.
Your uncle gives you a wink...

I realize this is a bit arousing.
So please don't offer hugs.
Though I'll welcome all espousing.
But just know I wrote this on... nothing.

I was sober.